Happy, positive, uplighting thoughts and words

Complaining Is Terrible for You, According to Science 

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  AN ARTICLE WRITTEN BY JESSICA STILLMAN ADDRESSES THE QUESTION WHY DO PEOPLE COMPLAIN? NOT TO TORTURE OTHERS WITH THEIR NEGATIVITY, SURELY. WHEN MOST OF US INDULGE IN A BIT OF A MOAN, THE IDEA IS TO “VENT.” BY GETTING OUR EMOTIONS OUT, WE REASON, WE’LL FEEL BETTER.

But science suggests there are a few serious flaws in that reasoning. One, not only does expressing negativity tend not to make us feel better, it’s also catching, making listeners feel worse.

OK, so complaining is bad for your mood and the mood of your friends and colleagues, but that’s not all that’s wrong with frequent negativity. Apparently, it’s also bad for your brain and your health. Yes, really.

On Psych Pedia, Steven Parton, an author and student of human nature, explains how complaining not only alters your brain for the worse but also has serious negative repercussions for your mental health. In fact, he goes so far as to say complaining can literally kill you. Here are a few of his findings:

1. “Synapses that fire together wire together.”

This is one of the first lessons neuroscience students learn, according to Parton. “Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about,” Parton explains.

“Here’s the kicker,” he continues. “Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross…. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together–in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger.”    

So let’s boil that down–having a thought makes it easier for you to have that thought again. That’s not good news for the perpetually gloomy (though happily, it seems gratitude, can work the opposite way, building up your positivity muscles). It gets worse, too. Not only do repeated negative thoughts make it easier to think yet more negative thoughts, they also make it more likely that negative thoughts will occur to you just randomly walking down the street. (Another way to put this is that being consistently negative starts to push your personality towards the negative).

Parton explains how these closer synapses result in a generally more pessimistic outlook: “Through repetition of thought, you’ve brought the pair of synapses that represent your [negative] proclivities closer and closer together, and when the moment arises for you to form a thought…the thought that wins is the one that has less distance to travel, the one that will create a bridge between synapses fastest.” Gloom soon outraces positivity.

2. You are whom you hang out with.

Not only does hanging out with your own negative thoughts rewire your brain for negativity, hanging out with negative people does much the same. Why?

“When we see someone experiencing an emotion (be it anger, sadness, happiness, etc), our brain ‘tries out’ that same emotion to imagine what the other person is going through. And it does this by attempting to fire the same synapses in your own brain so that you can attempt to relate to the emotion you’re observing. This is basically empathy. It is how we get the mob mentality…. It is our shared bliss at music festivals,” Parton writes. “But it is also your night out with your friends who love love love to constantly complain.”

The takeaway lesson is, if you want to strengthen your capacity for positivity and weaken your reflex for gloom, “surround yourself with happy people who rewire your brain towards love.” 

3. Stress is terrible for your body, too.

All of which sounds like a good argument for staying away from negativity to protect your mental health, but Parton insists that quitting the complaining habit is essential for your physical health, too. “When your brain is firing off these synapses of anger, you’re weakening your immune system; you’re raising your blood pressure, increasing your risk of heart disease, obesity and diabetes, and a plethora of other negative ailments,” he says.

The culprit is the stress hormone cortisol. When you’re negative, you release it, and elevated levels of the stuff, “interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease…. The list goes on and on,” says Parton.

So our bonus challenge this week is to try are hardest to stop complaining. It would be awesome if you could go the entire week without complaining but if you give it a focused effort each day you can claim the weekly bonus points. 

I love to laugh- ha ha ha ha

An article published by the New Zealand College of Law shares that there is good reason that laughter is often lauded as the best medicine.

The article shares that a good laugh not only lightens your mood but also offers significant benefits for your mental and physical well-being. It reduces stress, boosts your immune system, and even acts as a mini-workout for your heart and abs. Finding time each day for a hearty laugh is one of the simplest ways to inject joy into your routine and enhance your overall health.

Laughter releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals, which help improve your mood and reduce pain. It also lowers cortisol levels, combating stress and leaving you feeling relaxed and recharged. Plus, laughter can strengthen social bonds - sharing a joke or funny moment with friends, family, or colleagues fosters connection and improves relationships.

To make room for laughter in your day, look for opportunities that fit naturally into your routine. Watch a short comedy clip during your lunch break or find a laugh-out-loud series to watch just before turning in at night, listen to a funny podcast on your commute, or catch up with a friend who always makes you smile. Even reminiscing about past funny moments can trigger laughter.

Prioritizing laughter each day is a small but impactful habit that can significantly improve your mood, resilience, and overall sense of well-being. So go ahead, let yourself laugh, it’s the easiest and cheapest therapy there is!

So our weekly bonus challenge this week is to laugh more. You might try:

1. Watching a few minutes each day of a Netflix comedy special (I recommend Nate Bargatze)
2. Call a friend of family member to share a joke or funny story
3. Watch a re-run of a funny sitcom that you have gotten good laughs from over the years 
4. Call or meet up with a friend you can count on to say something funny and make you smile
5. Call a grand child and share some knock knock jokes 

6.   Read each day from a funny book (I recommend anything by Sophie Kinsella) 

7.   Share something funny with this group. Reply to our group e-mail and share a funny experience, a favorite comedian, a joke that makes you giggle. 

Secret exercise- no one will know

 

Secret Exercise -- no one will know! 

I am exercising and no one can tell 

I have been pregnant 5 times and most of my babies were 9 pounds plus. Consequently I have what is termed a "prolapsed uterus". No big deal as my Physician assured me that if I suddenly feel everything break loose and it feels like my uterus is going to fall out "Don't worry it's not really an emergency!" What?


Consequently Kegel exercises as well as some specialized treatments at a physicians office have become my new hobby and yes they have also become your next challenge.  I realize you aren't all old ladies that are peeing your pants when you sneeze or jump rope. But this is a good healthy habit for all of us to develop and continue throughout our lives. 

So your challenge for the next week is to complete Kegel exercises at least twice a day. For every day you do that (and yes I think you can even do these on the Sabbath) you will earn the daily bonus points . 





How to do Kegel exercises

To get started:

1. • Find the right muscles. There are a few ways to find your pelvic floor muscles. Squeeze the muscles you use to stop passing gas. Or squeeze the muscles you use to stop urination in midstream. You should notice a slight pulling feeling in your rectum and vagina. You also could place your finger into your vagina and squeeze as if trying to hold in urine. A feeling of tightness around your finger means you're squeezing the pelvic floor muscles. Once you've found the right muscles, you can do Kegel exercises lying down, seated or standing. You might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.
   • Perfect your technique. To do Kegels, imagine you're sitting on a marble. Tighten your pelvic muscles as if you're lifting the marble upward, toward your head. Try it for three seconds at a time. Then relax for a count of three.
   • Keep your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Try not to flex the muscles in your stomach area, thighs or buttocks. And don't hold your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
   • Repeat three times a day. In general, aim to do at least three sets a day. Work up to doing 10 to 15 Kegels in each set. You could do one set lying down, one set seated and one set standing. You also can ask your healthcare professional to make a Kegel exercise plan that's tailored just for you.
   • Think about your typical day. Pick a time (about 5 minutes twice a day) that you should have time to do kegal training, maybe when you first wake up or maybe during a TV program you almost always watch or even in line at the grocery store.
   • Decide on a way to remind yourself to do pelvic floor muscle training. You might put a note on a mirror you always use in the morning or a reminder alarm on your phone.
   • Reward yourself for exercising each time you do it. You could draw a small flower on your calendar to mark each day you exercise and get yourself a real flower or bouquet when you have drawn 10 or 30 flowers. Any small reward that you know will keep you working on this habit is fine.

Note: When working with a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist she warned me that weight lifting can put a big strain on your pelvic muscles. Make sure and contract those muscles whenever you are doing weight lifting at the gym. 

Ok ladies have a great week exercising without anyone else being able to tell! 

Prayer

I am not sure how many of you are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and that certainly isn't a requirement for this competition. But I wanted to share something from a recent talk by one of my church leaders "Burying Our Weapons of Rebellion." In one interesting part of the talk one of the church leader's Elder Christofferson is referring to "caring for our bodies as best we can" and he shares "I believe it pleases our Creator when we do our best to care for His wonderful gift of a physical body. It would be a mark of rebellion to deface or defile one's body or abuse it, or fail to do what one can to pursue a healthy lifestyle. "

This reminded me of a recent text conversation I had with my Brother (who used to practice my same faith) he asked if Mormon's because they don't smoke and drink still showed longer life spans than those not of that faith. I was sad to explain that it was actually the Seventh Day Adventists that are most often pointed out as examples of good health practices and longevity. Their health code includes beneficial influence of a healthy nutrition, exercise, the use of clean water, sunlight, a temperate lifestyle, fresh air, regular rest, and trust in divine power.  

And as far as I know many of them are vegan or vegetarian and focus on eating whole fresh healthy food. 
So with it being named as a rebellion against God NOT to do all we can to pursue a healthy lifestyle I am going to give an unusual challenge this week. I want you to honor the gift God has given you and involve Him in your effort by:
1. Expressing daily thanks for the miracle that is your physical body through prayer.
2. In addition ask God to give you the desire and strength to make wise decisions concerning your body throughout the day.
3. In your prayer ask God if there is anything specific he would like you to work on that day to honor this wonderful gift. 
I realize faith and prayer are very personal matters and it is totally OK if you want to opt out of this week's challenge. If you don't want to join us in prayer please use some positive afirmations concerning your stewardship over your body to help you keep things focused and positive for the week.
And if you take either of these 2 paths you can claim the daily bonus points!