Friends are good for your health

 

My husband and I have been watching (and highly recommend) the Netflix series “The Blue Zones”. Among other finding that they prescribe for elongating your life is connection, community and friendship. 

I’ve left the links on this information from the American Psychological Association, in an article entitled The science of why friendships keep us healthy by Zara Adams in case you want to read the studies. But the information is clear. Friendship is good for your health! 

People who have friends and close confidants are more satisfied with their lives and less likely to suffer from depression (Choi, K. W., et al., The American Journal of Psychiatry, Vol. 177, No. 10, 2020). They’re also less likely to die from all causes, including heart problems and a range of chronic diseases (Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., PLOS Medicine, Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010; Steptoe, A., et al., PNAS, Vol. 110, No. 15, 2013).

“On the other hand, when people are low in social connection—because of isolation, loneliness, or poor-quality relationships—they face an increased risk of premature death,” said Julianne Holt-Lunstad, PhD, a professor of psychology and neuroscience at Brigham Young University who studies how relationships affect the body and brain.

Fortunately, research also suggests that friendships can be made and maintained at any age, relationships with friends can strengthen or stand in for romantic relationships, and even minimal social interactions can be powerful.

How friendship changes the body and brain

Psychological research from around the world shows that having social connections is one of the most reliable predictors of a long, healthy, and satisfying life. A review of 38 studies found that adult friendships, especially high-quality ones that provide social support and companionship, significantly predict well-being and can protect against mental health issues such as depression and anxiety—and those benefits persist across the life span (Pezirkianidis, C., et al., Frontiers in Psychology, Vol. 14, 2023; Blieszner, R., et al., Innovation in Aging, Vol. 3, No. 1, 2019). 

People with no friends or poor-quality friendships are twice as likely to die prematurely, according to Holt-Lunstad’s meta-analysis of more than 308,000 people—a risk factor even greater than the effects of smoking 20 cigarettes per day (PLOS Medicine, Vol. 7, No. 7, 2010).

“In the face of life’s challenges, having a close friend to turn to seems to be a buffer or protective factor against some of the negative outcomes we might otherwise see,” said Catherine Bagwell, PhD, a professor of psychology at Davidson College in North Carolina.

Friendships protect us in part by changing the way we respond to stress. Blood pressure reactivity is lower when people talk to a supportive friend rather than a friend whom they feel ambivalent about (Holt-Lunstad, J., et al., Annals of Behavioral Medicine, Vol. 33, No. 3, 2007). Participants who have a friend by their side while completing a tough task have less heart rate reactivity than those working alone (Kamarck, T. W., et al., Psychosomatic Medicine, Vol. 52, No. 1, 1990). In one study, people even judged a hill to be less steep when they were accompanied by a friend (Schnall, S., et al., Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 44, No. 5, 2008).

The risks of social isolation

On the other side of the coin, research has shown that loneliness—among people who lack quality friendships, romantic partnerships, or other relationships—increases our risk for heart attack, stroke, and premature death, according to a longitudinal study of nearly 480,000 U.K. residents (Hakulinen, C., et al., Heart, Vol. 104, No. 18, 2018). 

A meta-analysis by Holt-Lunstad estimates that loneliness increases the risk of early death as much as 26% (Perspectives on Psychological Science, Vol. 10, No. 2, 2015).

Despite the risks, Americans are getting lonelier. In 2021, 12% of U.S. adults said they did not have any close friends, up from 3% in 1990 (“The State of American Friendship: Change, Challenges, and Loss,” Survey Center on American Life, 2021).).

Social disconnection, which is rising across age groups, appears to have worsened after 2012, when smartphones and social media became virtually ubiquitous. An international study of high school students found that between 2012 and 2018, school loneliness increased in 36 of 37 countries (Twenge, J. M., et al., Journal of Adolescence, Vol. 93, No. 1, 2021).

The strength of “weak” ties

Having a close friend or confidant is undeniably good for us, but psychologists have found that interactions with acquaintances—and even strangers—can also give our mental health a boost. A casual relationship with the operator of a hot dog stand in Toronto helped Gillian Sandstrom, PhD, feel grounded and connected while pursuing her master’s degree. The relationship also inspired Sandstrom, now a senior lecturer in psychology at the University of Sussex, to start studying “weak” social ties.

These connections with acquaintances—a work friend you bump into once a week, the pet store employee who remembers your cat—can be surprisingly sustaining. Sandstrom’s research has found that people who have more weak-tie interactions are happier than those who have fewer and that people tend to be happier on days when they have more than their average number of weak-tie interactions (Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, Vol. 40, No. 7, 2014).

 She also encourages talking to strangers and has shown that repeated practice can make doing so easier and more enjoyable (Journal of Experimental Social Psychology, Vol. 102, 2022).

So what is our challenge for this week? It is to connect. I’m going to really challenge you this time. Choose one of these things each day this week to earn your 35 bonus points. I encourage you to pick a variety of ways to connect and in some of them to seek people that you think need connection. 

1. Send a friendly or complimentary text to someone you don’t normally send texts to.
2. Mail a postcard, greeting card or letter to someone you care about.
3. Talk to someone you don’t know (sales clerk, neighbor, someone you see walking) learn their name and share a friendly comment.
4. Invite someone to do something with you. Go to the gym, out to lunch, for a walk, or just to run errands and bring someone along.
5. Call someone to reconnect. Maybe someone you haven’t spoken to in a long time.
6. Connect by noticing. Pay extra attention in a class and find something to compliment the instructor on. Ring a doorbell to compliment a neighbor on their yard. Tell a stranger how much you like their earrings, hair style etc. 
7. Make a positive comment on someone’s social media that you would usually overlook.
8. Listen carefully to someone. Don’t spend your thoughts thinking of what you will say in reply. Just listen fully.
9. If you have a church assignment to minister to someone make a personal connection this week.
10. Draw close. Sit next to someone you don’t usually sit with, lay your yoga mat down next to someone new and say hello etc. 

Good luck ladies!