Happy, positive, uplighting thoughts and words

Complaining Is Terrible for You, According to Science 

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  AN ARTICLE WRITTEN BY JESSICA STILLMAN ADDRESSES THE QUESTION WHY DO PEOPLE COMPLAIN? NOT TO TORTURE OTHERS WITH THEIR NEGATIVITY, SURELY. WHEN MOST OF US INDULGE IN A BIT OF A MOAN, THE IDEA IS TO “VENT.” BY GETTING OUR EMOTIONS OUT, WE REASON, WE’LL FEEL BETTER.

But science suggests there are a few serious flaws in that reasoning. One, not only does expressing negativity tend not to make us feel better, it’s also catching, making listeners feel worse.

OK, so complaining is bad for your mood and the mood of your friends and colleagues, but that’s not all that’s wrong with frequent negativity. Apparently, it’s also bad for your brain and your health. Yes, really.

On Psych Pedia, Steven Parton, an author and student of human nature, explains how complaining not only alters your brain for the worse but also has serious negative repercussions for your mental health. In fact, he goes so far as to say complaining can literally kill you. Here are a few of his findings:

1. “Synapses that fire together wire together.”

This is one of the first lessons neuroscience students learn, according to Parton. “Throughout your brain there is a collection of synapses separated by empty space called the synaptic cleft. Whenever you have a thought, one synapse shoots a chemical across the cleft to another synapse, thus building a bridge over which an electric signal can cross, carrying along its charge the relevant information you’re thinking about,” Parton explains.

“Here’s the kicker,” he continues. “Every time this electrical charge is triggered, the synapses grow closer together in order to decrease the distance the electrical charge has to cross…. The brain is rewiring its own circuitry, physically changing itself, to make it easier and more likely that the proper synapses will share the chemical link and thus spark together–in essence, making it easier for the thought to trigger.”    

So let’s boil that down–having a thought makes it easier for you to have that thought again. That’s not good news for the perpetually gloomy (though happily, it seems gratitude, can work the opposite way, building up your positivity muscles). It gets worse, too. Not only do repeated negative thoughts make it easier to think yet more negative thoughts, they also make it more likely that negative thoughts will occur to you just randomly walking down the street. (Another way to put this is that being consistently negative starts to push your personality towards the negative).

Parton explains how these closer synapses result in a generally more pessimistic outlook: “Through repetition of thought, you’ve brought the pair of synapses that represent your [negative] proclivities closer and closer together, and when the moment arises for you to form a thought…the thought that wins is the one that has less distance to travel, the one that will create a bridge between synapses fastest.” Gloom soon outraces positivity.

2. You are whom you hang out with.

Not only does hanging out with your own negative thoughts rewire your brain for negativity, hanging out with negative people does much the same. Why?

“When we see someone experiencing an emotion (be it anger, sadness, happiness, etc), our brain ‘tries out’ that same emotion to imagine what the other person is going through. And it does this by attempting to fire the same synapses in your own brain so that you can attempt to relate to the emotion you’re observing. This is basically empathy. It is how we get the mob mentality…. It is our shared bliss at music festivals,” Parton writes. “But it is also your night out with your friends who love love love to constantly complain.”

The takeaway lesson is, if you want to strengthen your capacity for positivity and weaken your reflex for gloom, “surround yourself with happy people who rewire your brain towards love.” 

3. Stress is terrible for your body, too.

All of which sounds like a good argument for staying away from negativity to protect your mental health, but Parton insists that quitting the complaining habit is essential for your physical health, too. “When your brain is firing off these synapses of anger, you’re weakening your immune system; you’re raising your blood pressure, increasing your risk of heart disease, obesity and diabetes, and a plethora of other negative ailments,” he says.

The culprit is the stress hormone cortisol. When you’re negative, you release it, and elevated levels of the stuff, “interfere with learning and memory, lower immune function and bone density, increase weight gain, blood pressure, cholesterol, heart disease…. The list goes on and on,” says Parton.

So our bonus challenge this week is to try are hardest to stop complaining. It would be awesome if you could go the entire week without complaining but if you give it a focused effort each day you can claim the weekly bonus points. 

I love to laugh- ha ha ha ha

An article published by the New Zealand College of Law shares that there is good reason that laughter is often lauded as the best medicine.

The article shares that a good laugh not only lightens your mood but also offers significant benefits for your mental and physical well-being. It reduces stress, boosts your immune system, and even acts as a mini-workout for your heart and abs. Finding time each day for a hearty laugh is one of the simplest ways to inject joy into your routine and enhance your overall health.

Laughter releases endorphins, the body’s natural feel-good chemicals, which help improve your mood and reduce pain. It also lowers cortisol levels, combating stress and leaving you feeling relaxed and recharged. Plus, laughter can strengthen social bonds - sharing a joke or funny moment with friends, family, or colleagues fosters connection and improves relationships.

To make room for laughter in your day, look for opportunities that fit naturally into your routine. Watch a short comedy clip during your lunch break or find a laugh-out-loud series to watch just before turning in at night, listen to a funny podcast on your commute, or catch up with a friend who always makes you smile. Even reminiscing about past funny moments can trigger laughter.

Prioritizing laughter each day is a small but impactful habit that can significantly improve your mood, resilience, and overall sense of well-being. So go ahead, let yourself laugh, it’s the easiest and cheapest therapy there is!

So our weekly bonus challenge this week is to laugh more. You might try:

1. Watching a few minutes each day of a Netflix comedy special (I recommend Nate Bargatze)
2. Call a friend of family member to share a joke or funny story
3. Watch a re-run of a funny sitcom that you have gotten good laughs from over the years 
4. Call or meet up with a friend you can count on to say something funny and make you smile
5. Call a grand child and share some knock knock jokes 

6.   Read each day from a funny book (I recommend anything by Sophie Kinsella) 

7.   Share something funny with this group. Reply to our group e-mail and share a funny experience, a favorite comedian, a joke that makes you giggle. 

Secret exercise- no one will know

 

Secret Exercise -- no one will know! 

I am exercising and no one can tell 

I have been pregnant 5 times and most of my babies were 9 pounds plus. Consequently I have what is termed a "prolapsed uterus". No big deal as my Physician assured me that if I suddenly feel everything break loose and it feels like my uterus is going to fall out "Don't worry it's not really an emergency!" What?


Consequently Kegel exercises as well as some specialized treatments at a physicians office have become my new hobby and yes they have also become your next challenge.  I realize you aren't all old ladies that are peeing your pants when you sneeze or jump rope. But this is a good healthy habit for all of us to develop and continue throughout our lives. 

So your challenge for the next week is to complete Kegel exercises at least twice a day. For every day you do that (and yes I think you can even do these on the Sabbath) you will earn the daily bonus points . 





How to do Kegel exercises

To get started:

1. • Find the right muscles. There are a few ways to find your pelvic floor muscles. Squeeze the muscles you use to stop passing gas. Or squeeze the muscles you use to stop urination in midstream. You should notice a slight pulling feeling in your rectum and vagina. You also could place your finger into your vagina and squeeze as if trying to hold in urine. A feeling of tightness around your finger means you're squeezing the pelvic floor muscles. Once you've found the right muscles, you can do Kegel exercises lying down, seated or standing. You might find it easiest to do them lying down at first.
   • Perfect your technique. To do Kegels, imagine you're sitting on a marble. Tighten your pelvic muscles as if you're lifting the marble upward, toward your head. Try it for three seconds at a time. Then relax for a count of three.
   • Keep your focus. For best results, focus on tightening only your pelvic floor muscles. Try not to flex the muscles in your stomach area, thighs or buttocks. And don't hold your breath. Instead, breathe freely during the exercises.
   • Repeat three times a day. In general, aim to do at least three sets a day. Work up to doing 10 to 15 Kegels in each set. You could do one set lying down, one set seated and one set standing. You also can ask your healthcare professional to make a Kegel exercise plan that's tailored just for you.
   • Think about your typical day. Pick a time (about 5 minutes twice a day) that you should have time to do kegal training, maybe when you first wake up or maybe during a TV program you almost always watch or even in line at the grocery store.
   • Decide on a way to remind yourself to do pelvic floor muscle training. You might put a note on a mirror you always use in the morning or a reminder alarm on your phone.
   • Reward yourself for exercising each time you do it. You could draw a small flower on your calendar to mark each day you exercise and get yourself a real flower or bouquet when you have drawn 10 or 30 flowers. Any small reward that you know will keep you working on this habit is fine.

Note: When working with a Pelvic Floor Physical Therapist she warned me that weight lifting can put a big strain on your pelvic muscles. Make sure and contract those muscles whenever you are doing weight lifting at the gym. 

Ok ladies have a great week exercising without anyone else being able to tell! 

Prayer

I am not sure how many of you are members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints and that certainly isn't a requirement for this competition. But I wanted to share something from a recent talk by one of my church leaders "Burying Our Weapons of Rebellion." In one interesting part of the talk one of the church leader's Elder Christofferson is referring to "caring for our bodies as best we can" and he shares "I believe it pleases our Creator when we do our best to care for His wonderful gift of a physical body. It would be a mark of rebellion to deface or defile one's body or abuse it, or fail to do what one can to pursue a healthy lifestyle. "

This reminded me of a recent text conversation I had with my Brother (who used to practice my same faith) he asked if Mormon's because they don't smoke and drink still showed longer life spans than those not of that faith. I was sad to explain that it was actually the Seventh Day Adventists that are most often pointed out as examples of good health practices and longevity. Their health code includes beneficial influence of a healthy nutrition, exercise, the use of clean water, sunlight, a temperate lifestyle, fresh air, regular rest, and trust in divine power.  

And as far as I know many of them are vegan or vegetarian and focus on eating whole fresh healthy food. 
So with it being named as a rebellion against God NOT to do all we can to pursue a healthy lifestyle I am going to give an unusual challenge this week. I want you to honor the gift God has given you and involve Him in your effort by:
1. Expressing daily thanks for the miracle that is your physical body through prayer.
2. In addition ask God to give you the desire and strength to make wise decisions concerning your body throughout the day.
3. In your prayer ask God if there is anything specific he would like you to work on that day to honor this wonderful gift. 
I realize faith and prayer are very personal matters and it is totally OK if you want to opt out of this week's challenge. If you don't want to join us in prayer please use some positive afirmations concerning your stewardship over your body to help you keep things focused and positive for the week.
And if you take either of these 2 paths you can claim the daily bonus points!  

Challenge #3 Try a new fruit or vegetable every day

My daughter mentioned that in a church lesson she attended the teacher inquired what everyone's favorite fruits were. She was surprised that the majority of ladies said strawberries. She wondered how many of them regularly tried other options from the wide variety of delicious fruits. (BTW her and my favorite fruit is pomegranate) 

If you have ever read any of the blogs or books that tout various super foods you are aware of the power pack of nutrients contained in fruits and vegetables. Yet so many of us eat the same foods day in and day out. And in making these same food choices we also partake of the same nutrients. Additionally if we make the same food choices all the time we rob our gut microbiome of the variety of foods it needs to maintain a healthy gut flora. It's time to step outside our habits and take part in a wider variety of delicious fruits and vegetables. 

I have written before about a surprising experience I had when I prepared an evening snack for some teenagers that came to our home for a church meeting. The usual refreshments for these youth activities was store bought cake and cookies. But I wanted to serve them some healthier fare. I served warm artisan whole wheat bread with honey butter (bought at Costco I just re-heated), sliced oranges and assorted veggies served in a cup with hummus. I couldn’t believe my ears when one of the girls asked what a slice of raw red bell pepper was and another exclaimed she had never before seen a snow pea pod.

Yet in my own family I have a nephew that when we reunited after a year apart shared that the last salad he had eaten was when he saw me last. ARRGGHHH! 

I know that on this challenge you are already eating several daily servings of fresh fruits and vegetables. But are you in a rut of always eating romaine in your salads, and always eating apples or oranges for your fruit? It's time to step it up and seek more variety. 

A recent study Georgia State University nutrition students challenged fellow students to a “nutrition fear factor” test to encourage them to try new foods.

Alexandra Friel, one of the organizers, said, “Everyone has seen the ‘Fear Factor’ television show, and we all tend to think we are a little braver than we really are. We wanted to put Georgia State students to the test.”

So, she headed to DeKalb Farmers Market (which BTW was my favorite place to shop when I lived in Atlanta) with fellow student Rebecca Sterns to select food for the taste test. They choose some that might be familiar, such as kiwi, fresh coconut and raw mushrooms, and some that many students had never seen, let alone tasted. Jackfruit, star fruit, pomegranate and durian were on the menu, as well as baba ghanoush— an eggplant dish.

The results? “Everyone seemed to enjoy the experience of tasting different foods that were interesting and healthy to eat,” said student Lauren Sieber. “The most interesting was the durian. It is by far the worst-smelling fruit in the world, but once you get past the smell, it tastes pretty good.”

Listed below are five foods that you may not have tried and they are just a small sampling of the wonderful variety we can choose from in our diet

• Plantains: A staple of Latin American cuisine, they look like large bananas, but are really a starchy vegetable rich in potassium and vitamin C. Try the ripe ones (they will look almost black) for your test. Slice it, sauté with a little butter or margarine and a pinch of brown sugar and salt for side dish or dessert.

• Broccoli rabe: This vegetable, popular in Italy, is also called rapini and has slender stalks with broccoli-like flower buds. It can be bitter, so blanch it, toss with balsamic vinaigrette and serve it as a side dish. It is also good in salads or soups.

• Fresh or Dried figs: If you like Fig Newtons, try a dried fig instead: moist, chewy and flavorful, a perfect snack. There are many varieties. The Southern California Mission fig is one of the most popular. (I buy figs regularly at Costco and use them to sweeten my green smoothies)

• Carambola: It’s used in Southeast Asia and is also called star fruit because when sliced each piece looks like a star. Choose a sweet variety, like Arkin. Look for one that is shiny and firm to the touch. Kids will like how it looks, and moms will like the extra fiber and vitamins A and C that it delivers.

• Eggplant: If you like hummus, try something new, like baba ghanoush served with pita wedges or flatbread. This Middle Eastern dish is used as a spread or a dip. My neighbor made it for me once and it was so delicious I literally licked the plate. 

YOUR CHALLENGE FOR THIS WEEK IS, EACH DAY EAT A FRUIT OR VEGETABLE THAT YOU DO NOT NORMALLY EAT (to figure out if you “normally eat it” all foods that you have eaten within the last month cannot be used for this challenge. So each day you should be trying a new variety of fruit or vegetable that you have not eaten in the last month nor during this week of the challenge) For every day that you try a new fruit or vegetable this week you earn the 5 bonus points.

And just to make it easier I will allow a different variety of a fruit or vegetable you HAVE eaten. So if you regularly eat standard orange carrots try the purple carrots, if yellow onions are your go to try red onions etc.  In fact in a past challenge one of our contestants Melinda said during the apple a day challenge she purchased nine types of apples and discovered 2 new favorites. Snap Dragon and Ginger gold. I've only been able to find Snap Dragon but it is delicious! Hoorah for Melinda. 

Here’s a recipe that might be fun to try and please feel free to share any recipes on the blog that you have found for our more unusual fruits and veggies!

Baba Ghanouj 
Makes 2 cups or 8 (1/4-cup) servings

Hands on: 30 minutes 
Total time: 90 minutes

2 pounds eggplant,
1 tablespoon fresh lemon juice,
1 small garlic clove minced,
 2 tablespoons tahini paste (sesame seed paste),
1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon extra-virgin olive oil, divided 
Salt and freshly ground black pepper, 
2 teaspoons chopped parsley

Grill the eggplant over a hot fire or under the broiler until the skin darkens and wrinkles on all sides, about 15 to 20 minutes, turning every 5 minutes. The eggplant should be uniformly soft when pressed with tongs. Transfer to a baking sheet and cool for 5 minutes.

Set a small colander over a bowl or in the sink. Trim the top and bottom off each eggplant. Slit the eggplants lengthwise. Use a spoon to scoop the hot pulp from the skins and place the pulp in the colander. You should have about 2 cups of packed pulp. Discard the skins. Let the pulp drain for 3 minutes.

Transfer pulp to a food processor bowl and add lemon juice, garlic, tahini, 1 tablespoon olive oil and a pinch of salt and pepper. Process until the mixture has a coarse, choppy texture, about 8 one-second pulses. Transfer to a serving dish, cover with plastic wrap and refrigerate until lightly chilled, about 45 to 60 minutes.

To serve, use a spoon to make a trough in the center of the dip and spoon in a teaspoon of olive oil and sprinkle with parsley.

— From “Perfect Vegetables From the Editors of Cook’s Illustrated” 

Per serving: 50 calories (percent of calories from fat, 72), 1 gram protein, 3 grams carbohydrates, 1 grams fiber, 4 grams fat (less than 1 gram saturated), no cholesterol, 2 milligrams sodium.

Nutritional bonus points: Don’t let the 72 percent of calories from fat scare you. This is a low-fat, low-calorie dip, and the small amount of fat comes from heart-healthy fats in the olive oil and tahini.

Week.2 Challenge a TRIBUTE to my healthy living partner GAIL and our tech girl and a plea to build muscle mass

This is my healthy living challenge partner and she is also the tech girl that handles all of our spreadsheets and reports- Gail Munck!

YES- both of these photos are of one of my best friends in the Universe- Gail.

Gail's journey to healthy living included the following:

1. 2207 Mini Gastric By-pass

2. Learning to live healthily with good portion control

3. Focusing on getting enough protein each day

4. Replacing her food addiction with healthy addictions which include exercise. First Gail became a work out maniac. If someone wanted a walking partner she would go, someone was going to the gym she would join them. A second friend was going to the gym later the same day she would go with them too. She has found committing to meet a friend at the gym greatly increases the likelihood she will follow through and go. 

Then Gail added a deep addiction to knitting through taking classes and constant practice. And she has continued to hone this skill at a very high level. And she would tell you that when you are working with beautiful, fine yarns you do not snack on cheetos.

One of Gail's favorite sweaters she has knitted 

Gail's amazing current level of skill 

5.When Gail's husband retired and they began traveling a lot her exercise was part of the travel plan with lots of walking, hiking and biking.

And so you see that while gastric bypass or Ozempic can be weight loss tools neither will get you all the way to continued health and fitness. There are still important healthy habits to be forged. 

Some of the big concerns with the current Ozempic fad are:

1. Gastrointestinal side affects- nausea, vomiting and diarrhea and harm to your microbiome

2. Sleep deprivation

3. Rebound affect-The appetite suppressant power of the drug and the quick weight loss don't lead you to build long term healthy habits so when you discontinue the drug your old habits return and you regain the weight.

4. Muscle loss- When you lose weight rapidly your body breaks down muscle for quick energy. Studies are showing that Ozemempic can lead to 20% of weight loss being lean muscle mass.

Loss of muscle mass is a huge issue as we age. Sarcopenia (loss of muscle mass) is a natural part of aging where after age 30 your body loses muscle mass and strength at a rate of 3-5% per decade. So as we get older and weaker the risk of falling increases. 3 years ago my mother fell, broke her hip and died within a week. She was healthy when she fell, so she basically died of weak muscles. When you have strong muscles and a strong core if you trip you don't fall all the way to the ground. You are strong enough to keep yourself upright. 

This week's bonus challenge is inspired by a text Gail sent me this week.
"At the gym today I used their machine to tell me what my body fat percentage was and how much lean mass (muscle, bones,).  I was 31% fat and my leans mass was 90lbs. According to the gym guy an adult woman of my height should have 100lbs of lean mass. I need to gain 10 lbs of muscle.  He said to check it once a month to see if my plan was making progress.  I’m going to be sure i am getting 100 grams of protein daily and do more weight exercise classes at the gym and at home I can use 5 lb weights to do more reps."

So ideally those of us working toward weight loss are working toward fat loss and trying to maintain and even build our muscle mass.

So this is a tricky challenge. I would LOVE it if you could all find a place to monitor your lean muscle mass and fat loss- either at a gym or by purchasing your own scale that gives that info. Amazon has one of these scales available pretty inexpensively 

I have a similar scale and while I'm not sure it is as accurate as the reading Gail is getting from gym trainers I think I can trust the relative information. It can show me my percentage of lean body mass and if that is increasing or decreasing. 

If your gym doesn't offer this monitoring and you don't have the funds for a scale to monitor your lean mass try sending a text out to girlfriends to see if they might have one you could go weigh in on every week or two.

So here is the weekly challenge:

1. Make an effort to monitor your percentage of body fat and lean mass during this competition by getting checked at the gym or buying or borrowing a scale. If this is totally not possible that's OK- you can still claim the weekly bonus points 

2. Make a personal goal of how you are going to build muscle mass this entire year (NOT just during our competition). This could include increasing your protein intake and lifting weights on a regular basis. Decide how you are going to monitor and keep track of it.

3. Monitor your fat loss and muscle mass gain

When you have made your best effort claim the weekly bonus challenge points 

 

WEEK 1 A FRESH START

 

I am hoping you are getting excited about getting started. If it is your first time joining us one thing you can work on in the next few days is setting up an account at Myfitnesspal.com

This service is free and you will learn to love it. It is one of those things that gets easier to use the more you use it.

One of the things that will earn you points is recording EVERYTHING YOU EAT every day. THE CHANGE FOR THIS ROUND OF COMPETITION IS YOU MUST RECORD WHAT YOU EAT ON THIS WEBSITE rather than in a notebook or on a scrap of paper.

A few helpful things:
1. If you have a smart phone there is an app to use myfitnesspal on your phone
2. It is OK to write what you have eaten on a paper as long as you enter it into the computer program before midnight each day
3. Take the time now to sign up for the website and to set your goals. You will choose how many pounds you want to lose per week and the program will select a number of calories per day for you to eat.
4. You will earn points every day for entering EVERYTHING you eat on the program and you will earn bonus points every day you stay within your caloric allowance
5. If you exercise the program allots you more calories in your daily amount! Yahoo!
6. The program has a lot of food items from restaurants and grocery stores already entered. As you select those things you eat most often you can save them which makes it way easier the next time to enter what you've eaten. Sounds complicated but it's super easy.
So go ahead and sign up and set up your goals. Wait until Wednesday morning to weigh and measure. That information can be entered here too!

So our BONUS challenge for the first week for which you will earn 35 points for the week is:

1. Set up your account on Myfitnesspal.com and on Wednesday morning begin entering what you eat.
2. Communicate with your partner (in person or by text or e-mail) and talk about your personal goals for healthy living and how you can support each other
3. Read the RULES and FAQS tabs on this blog 

Happy New Year

 

This last year has been a health challenge for me. The end of 2023 I suddenly had a droopy eye. I was sent to the emergency room for tests as they suspected cancer or a stroke. Over the next few months I faced a mis-diagnosis of lymphoma and later a diagnosis of sarcoidosis. I was put on a string of medications that caused extreme fatigue, hair loss, and nausea. My eye continued to droop and I could only drive if I tilted my head way back so I could see through the tiny slit. Little kids even made fun of me "Mommy what is wrong with that ladies eye?" The doctor said the eye was just traumatized and would heal in a few months but I saw no improvement as the months wore on. I sought alternative remedies with regular acupuncture, red light therapy, salt room therapy, sugar free diet, cryotherapy, and mountains of supplements with no improvement. 

I thought maybe I should seek a second opinion but had no idea how to find a qualified doctor. Finally at book club a friend said "I don't know why I hadn't thought about it sooner but maybe you should get my eye doctor to check it out." It was as if a spotlight shone on her when she said it. What a blessing to find a new doctor that diagnosed that the ligament had been severed from the muscle and that was why my eye couldn't open. I would need to continue my medication (to keep the mass that had grown in my eye gland from re-growing) and he would reattach the muscle and ligament but things should improve. 

So here I am with a much improved eye (I have a refinement surgery this week) and a renewed desire to help my body to be healthy.

I read this week that most of those that died from covid had 3 cormobidities. And so it seems if we are healthy when we get sick it is easier to get back to good health. So if for no other reason you might want to join us in our 8 week journey of focusing on our health so that we may have the most healthy and enjoyable 2025. 

Look at the FAQ's and RULES TABS on this blog for more details and then find a female partner (she does NOT have to live in your same area) and let me know that you want to join us (MomSandee@aol.com). The cost is just $5 a week so $40 for the 8 week competition and there are cash prizes for the most successful duos. We would love to have you join us.